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« on: December 25, 2015, 03:34:02 pm »
Democratic Republic of Greece (Greek: Εεεεελλαααάδααααα /eeælaadaaaə/ , listen: Media:Name of Greece.mp3), also known as Monarchical Republic of Greece and officially the Frappe Republic of Greece (Greek: Ποιος μετακόμισε τυρί μου), is a tiny country located in the Mediterranean peninsula, the paradise on earth. It's mostly known for its intelligence and logical philosophy. From a geographical point of view, Greece is a tiny peninsula near the city-state of Helladistan. If you don't know this state then you have completely lost your spiritual guidance and you need help from an exorcist. If you don't find an exorcist then you can call the Great Archbishop of Athens and All Greece, Christodoulos.
The Greeks are an ancient people who claim they invented Europe when the rest of the continent was in animal skins and talking like animals. They called all non-Greeks sheep and said they bleated like agitated lambs - hence Baa-baa-baa-baa-barbarians. The Greeks always liked to remind every subsequent invader of this fact (Persians, Romans, French, English, Germans, Italians).They were also light years ahead in providing entertainment with plays by Euripides, comedies by Aristophanes and soap operas by Menander whose works were subsequently misfiled by later archivists as they were trash. The Greeks also liked poetry and listened to Homer as he droned on about Donuts.
With all this leisure time, the Greeks had time to argue with each other. Wherever they went, they caused chaos by arguing with fellow villagers. So being a sailor or a merchant was not recommended. It was said it only needed one Greek to start an argument. Athens and Sparta were the leading states in Greece's glory days until the Macedonian King Philip and his son Alexander the Great conquered them. After that the Greeks spread far and wide but back in Greece there was a long decline. It became an intellectual backwater. Like today, the really interesting Greeks found excuses to live elsewhere, a tradition carried on by Ariana Huffington Post.
Perhaps the most important moment of Greek history was the Battle of Thermopylae. Persian Dictator Xeres was the infamous Emperor of the Galactic Empire. He led his army of approximately 10 million men because he wanted to take over the world and annex it into his empire. He brought 10 million men because the Greek had secret weapons known as "Spartans" (a project developed by the Rebellion in order to halt the Galactic Empire's advance on Earth). Though only 300 units were made, these "Spartans" could absolutely rekt anything, demolishing entire legions of soldiers by themselves using their helmet bashing headbutts (which would later be used by Luke Skywalker) and their wooden lightsabers called "spears." The great army of Emperor Xeres and the powerful Spartan units, led by the famous Jedi Master Leonidas (known as King of Spartans), met accidentally at Thermopylae where the Galactic Empire was marching towards Athens. The Spartans completely wasted the Persian army, slaughtering hundreds of thousands of Persians with their lightsabers and head smashing combos. It was also rumored they used the force to push elephants off the cliff, completely scaring the Persian army. For 7 days, the Spartans held of the hordes of Persians. However, on the 8th day, the helmets of the Spartans were dented and was unfit to be used for head bashing. Also, the lightsabers ran out of juice, forcing the Spartans to back up. Unfortunately for the Spartans, Anakin Skywalker wanted to be a Sith and joined the Emperor as Darth Vader. He showed the Emperor the way around the Spartans and attacked the flank and front at the same time. The Spartans were brave, and refused to give up. However, the Emperor eventually led an all out attack, resulting in the end of the Spartan army. Although the Persian Army marched on to capture Athens, the Greeks would strike back harder the following year (called the Return of the Spartans). The Greeks would eventually drive out the Persians and re-establish the Spartan Order, and continuing to preserve the peace of the world.
Greece became part of the Roman Empire and then the Byzantine Empire. During the Crusades the French arrived and introduced adultery. The Venetians took over the Greek shipping business and charged excess fares. In the 15th century the Byzantine empire fell and the Turks came in. Greece was now really isolated, the only excitement happened in 1687 when the Venetians blew up the Parthenon under the rhetoric it was storing weapons of mass destruction. The Greeks said they would restore it which is why over 300 years later there is scaffolding and extended lunch breaks to show how rapidly this is progressing.
The sculptures that survived were later sold to the English, by the Turks, as a settlement of outstanding bill. Lord Byron wrote a poem in protest and said he had fallen in love with Greece. This was an era when Romantics rediscovered ancient Greece and pledged they would help liberate the country from Turkish rule. It was called Panhandlenism.
Greece earned its independence during the early decades of the 19th century from the Ottoman Empire. After the Greek War of Independence, Greece got involved in a considerable number of wars in order to spread Greek Feta cheese to lesser lands. The Turks resisted and there were a number of wars until the Greeks unfairly lost, when their allies, the British and French, deserted them in 1922.
The official symbol on the Greek flag is a traditional [ Byzantine cold-coffee beverage known as Frappe, sitting on a white sky and a blue sea. This is thought to symbolize a Greek's main source of "coolness", which is his/her extreme empathy towards everything.
Public Debt problemsedit
Since the beginning of the year, The Greater Hellenic Democratic Republic has suffered minor cash flow problems. This is due to a few people in the government (who represent 0.00001% of the country's population) who spent all the public money on luxurious stuff, the fine life, and in corruption. Greece is known to be the best places to have enormous amounts of envelopes full of money, commonly known as Fakelakia (Φακελακια) (also known as baksheesh) that the people use to give to the public functions such as the doctors, liars, err, lawyers and (of course) the tax collectors. Besides tourism, the envelopes are the main revenue sources of the country. However, Greece promises to Merkel's German Nazis (achtung!) and the American Republican Robber Barons to pay them back by other means of payments, such as anal sex or by farting on their own debts.
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Κάτι δεν μου κάθεται καλά στο να κάτσεις να σου κάνει κάποιος τα ακατανόμαστα για να κάνεις μία κοιλιά τούρλα και να κάνεις εμετούς σαν να έχεις κίρρωση για να φέρεις στον κόσμο ένα καραφλό τερατάκι 
Όχι δηλαδή ότι ο Μπέρια πάει πίσω. Αυτός είχε ολόκληρο μυστικό δωμάτιο στο σπίτι του με ανήλικα κορίτσια που τα έδενε και τα βίαζε.
